Controlled, Ain’t I

We are controlled in so many ways and shaped by the events of our lives.

When I was 8, I was traumatized by my mother for touching the girl next door on her bottom. She quickly forgot the whole deal, but it took me over twenty years to come out of my shell. At 28, I forgave my parents for raising me the way they did (the spoil the child and spare the rod type of raising). From there it took me another 4 years to get up enough courage to be involved with a woman. One year later, we married and are still together today. She controls my every movement and I let her because it’s easier than the alternative, fighting.

It was extremely uncomfortable for me & all those around me as I was growing up because I was very intense and I never developed any interest in sports, beyond swimming, and that stopped just after the Navy when I found I was allergic to Bromine & Chlorine. I have always been single-minded and so anything I take an interest in, I do well in. Then I tried sales and failed miserably at it because I found out that salesmen have to talk a lot about sports. I found I had and continue to have to this day, no interest in what most people are thinking. I find it boring and so I am bored with it and talking about it. I found that no one really wanted to talk about the state of the economy, world, philosophy, or psychology. Now, these are the subjects I get off on. I could quite easily be the president except for one thing, which is the killing part of the job. Alas, I’m not a killer and it seems that all presidents have to be.

While I was growing up I was rich and that continued until I got married and from then I was and am dirt poor. I have become accustomed to it so most days I don’t even think about it. Then came Y2K and the death of the stock market, America, and my finances along with it.