Half Awake

This is where life got interesting due to a fellow Objectivist balling me out for being so superior for no reason. He was 75 years old and very contradictory in style because he was balling me out for being superior, while he was playing large games with everyone around him. He planted a doubt and that was all I needed to get started on my new life. I found out my ho-ho life was very fragile and my bubble was burst in two. I started to look for an Objectivist woman who would complement me throughout my life. I went all around the nation looking for her and found her at a romantic love seminar put on by Nathaniel Branden, a disavowed Objectivist. If I had known what a moral coward he was, I would have never gone and met my wife. I liked my wife's sense of life best and still do. She is absolutely alive with life, always doing something to further her along her path. She was a rude awakening for me, but I'm fast on the uptake so we got married. I was still thinking I could change her just a little to let her be my ideal mate. Boy, was I wrong. Everything I thought she wanted I tried to give her, without success. She said she wanted to travel the world so I bought time shares so she could do that , But she had a different thought since she wanted a career first and foremost. She wanted the career more than children and I did not mind that since I vividly remembered the mess I was and I really did not want any more of me. What kept us together through the years was me and my remembering what it was I got married for. I got married to beat boredom and she supplies the impetus. She is the most creative person I know, bar none. She is the best cook I know so she keeps my stomach full and happy. The way to a man's heart is through his stomach. I fart entirely too much for her delicate nose and she finds too much for me to do and is in nonstop complain mode about the lack of my movement at any time during any day. Where we really excel is at snuggling. Our sex life is not the greatest, but boy, when we snuggle, we are so happy. As we were both of the same philosophy before we do not discuss many things. I am outright sad about this due to the fact that she is very often the only person I speak to and there is nothing to say because we agree on almost all counts. She was an Electronic Engineer and now is a starving graphic artist. I was an Electrical Engineer who is now a starving stock market guru who cuts stone. We get by wonderfully well although money is tight.I retired from the local bomb plant several years back. Now that was an experience. Rocky Flats built trigger for nuclear weapons throughout the cold war. The cold war was anything but cold. One of the best ways to pollute the earth beyond belief and repair is to have a strategy called MAD or Mutual Assured Destruction. This is a neat thing where both us and the so-called enemy make nuclear weapons galore and never use them but scare each other and the rest of the world to death every minute of every day. It was the making of these weapons that killed the earth. Why would anyone in his right mind refine Plutonium, Uranium, Fluoride, and Berylium. The almost complete antithesis to life is Plutonium. To make it even more deadly, we refined it into a supreme killing machine where between 10-20# of the substance would kill between 1-2 Million people. Then we proceeded to make more than a million of these engines of war between both sides and point our missles at anyone who turned up their nose at us. Talk about sick, we were and still are. Now here we sit with all these weapons just rotting away giving off scads of radiation forever. The half life of Pu-239 is 24,000 years. Talk about a source of contamination, here is one. These plants were never in favor of safety and only paid it minimum lip service. Berylium causes cancer or beryliosois in human and all mammals. Plutonium is a bone seeker and metastasises to it quickly. There is no known cure except death for inhaled Pu. The culprit is He+4 , which is very unstable and loves to attack anything around. Uranium is in all granite formations, but is not concentrated until we got hold of it. It is a great oxidizer and we machined it slowly to maximize this effect. It makes great fuel rods for Fission reactors. Fluoride is a halide and also attack s everything it comes into contact with. We used it in great quantities to clean Pu. AS you can see, Rocky Flats was a nice place to work if you didn't particularly care about the earth or people. I can see now why an Objectivist would be attracted to that business. After the cold war ended, merely for lack of an opponent, we closed down production and tried to clean up the area with little real success, I might add. We were not too careful during the cold war years and spread contamination all over the place around Denver. This is nothing compare to what the government did at Rocky mountain Arsenal, which was the local biological warfare unit. Denver's history is not nice to the earth. Most of the radiation is being shipped out now, however there is still the awful stench of the chemicals we used at the plant to come back to haunt us. I feel like a NWO experiment gone bad. For 2 years after the cold war, the plant actually cared about safety, or appeared to. My job as a Shift Technical Advisor was to advise management about the safety of their operations and shut them down if they were not safe. I shut a lot of operations down as you well may believe. I was not the favorite employee of management. Then all of a sudden, things changed as Naval Intelligence was brought in to help us with the clean up. They were a real help if you are a joker. They canned safety real quick and got us on a schedule for shutdown that was not too safe. Five years later , they wrote off my job and I retired, glad to get out with my supposed health.During this approximately 20 year period, I became more aware that there was something wrong with the way I was operating and I welcomed retirement to sort it all out. I was becoming more aware of the earth and its predicament, but I was still largely in the dark. I was in effect becoming a spiritual person in the truest sense, just not yet awake. I had made the transition from anger to peaceful coexistence of live and let live a long time ago. I had repaired the damage I had done to our marriage. I had a little money saved and thought it was a good time for a move back into stone work. I was going to invest in the raging bull stock market and have plenty to spare. I thought I had a good bead on life. This is always where life hits you between the eyes with its own form of reality. I was not ready to accept the thought that God was this all powerful being in the sky that knew all and cared about nothing in particular, let alone me. I was not ready for what I began to find out. I was not yet consciously connected to it all.