My Story
Introduction
My life began as any other, rather carefree in childhood. I had always been a solitary child, sort of lost in my own world. Don't get me wrong, I had friends, just not very close ones. Every time I looked around, I didn't really like what I saw. I became an observer of life, not a liver of life. I was and still am rather cynical about life in general. I saw then as I do now people constantly doing things that don't make sense and perhaps never did. Being cynical is easy as is being a pessimist, which I had boatloads of. I was always too good for the people I saw. In my lofty tower, I observed all kinds of different nightmarish kinds of things happening and contributed to a few I guess. I went to college, got a degree, without learning anything at all. I knew college would get me a job and that was all I needed to know. It was purely a backup for me anyway as I loved then and still do love cutting stone. It is my trade, but I cannot make a decent living at it as I selected to do it. I have tried and failed at Commodities & the Stock Market. I can write a book about the market that would be true but I don't have the temperament to trade. I have been an Engineer who was a very good technician. I am lousy at selling even at what I love doing. I have great confidence in my ability to do anything well that I choose. Now I'm shifting gears again and going off in a new direction. I was taught as a child to be independent so I was to a fault. I was very lonely, observing life as I did. I neglected the social graces entirely as if they didn't matter. I put my emotions on a shelf to deal with sometime later. No matter what I did, nothing got to my heart. So I continue with stonework as a substitute for what I don't know. I also wrote dark poetry for a time. I didn't pay attention to anything that mattered because I was not taught to any real soul searching, but I was always daydreaming anyway.. I figured out religion a long time ago and left permanently. I seemed to grow during deep discussion with others only I rarely had any discussion with others. I forgot that man is a social being and has social needs to be with someone else at certain times. I still spend a lot of time alone thinking and meditating. I am most ly myself in my car driving alone. There my mind can roam free. I love to drive because of the beauty of the earth. The night is the best because I love the stars. I am free to see all kinds of things happening like shooting stars and flying saucers. Most of all I love the mountains. Looking at them, I wonder how they came to be as they are. I am an Internet junkie. I like information of all sorts and types. I can find things that no one else can find.Now when I look at things, I realize how wrong I was and an odd irony comes over me. Ayn Rand was one of my idols. One should never see his idols as real people because it is defeating. I now see her as a very sad individual who got the gist of it at all. She was a great writer who wanted more. In a very real sense she destroyed Americans who also wanted more than what they saw around them. She taught that our five senses did not matter, only seeing did matter and furthermore only what she wanted us to see. She was a powerful work of art who destroyed people right and left. She totally left out anything connected with emotion and called it bad. To emote was moral treason. She used people unbelievably and very irrationally. She had her own brand of reason and if you fell from grace, you did not exist. She hated dictators with a passion, but was the very thing she hated until the end. She did not understand tenderness or compassion and considered anyone who was compassionate to be utterly weak. She loved people without caring what she was doing and used sex to gain power over people and feed her own drive to work. I am still unlearning what she taught me and I will be for the rest of my current life. What I learned throughout the first part of my life was not worth much as I was too conceited to pay any attention to what was real or what never changed. I had a pretty neutral childhood and I cannot remember my mother or my father really teaching me anything of any consequence. I did not grow up in a loving family or a touching family. I lacked for nothing mostly because I worked for anything that I ever wanted very bad. I paid my way through college. There were two things I learned there and they were: 1) method and 2) Humanities. Method got me a job which I kept until I didn't want it anymore. I thought I had a good bead on things when I retired. It just goes to show you how wrong a person can be about what really matters in life. Humanities taught me to be an observer of life and a critic. Both parts came easy for me. I was a coward to actually go out and live life so I watched it from afar. I am a good noticer of things that don't matter. This is what makes me a superb engineer. I love details. I love solving problems and bringing solutions to the problems I see.In 1968, I tried to commit suicide over a song from a movie called Valley of the Dolls. The song was called WHY and I had no answer to the question, not even a clue. I blamed the whole thing on the Navy and got a discharge. I went to work in stone and avoided the whole issue. I resolved never to be bored again. In 1975, I forgave my parents for how they raised me, as they were just doing the best they knew how at the time. I remember crying in front of both of them and getting a fair response from my mother. My father thought I was going crazy, of course he did the best he knew how but that was nothing to cry about. As far as he was concerned I should get busy and not spend so much time thinking about it. My sudden awakening was in 1978 when a person told me exactly what I was doing to myself and others. I wanted to hurt him, not physically, but mentally, however, I knew he was right. It took 5 years for me to admit it to myself. My wife got me the engineering job that I retired from recently. I realized I needed something more and she came along filled the void. My solution to personal problems has always been to avoid them and they will go away. She is my greatest teacher. I had to learn to appreciate her. I have always loved her unconditionally and always will. Marriage requires a unique state of mind. There is an openness to has to shared in marriage for it to truly work right. Wayne Dyer says it best, you have to be kind not right because your spirit just wants peace.By now, I had my answer to WHY and it was a simple answer at that. It still is my answer today.We are here to fulfill our life mission which has the side benefits of noticing the moments of your life, helping others, having fun, learning in the process, and doing no harm. Your mission is for you to figure out. It could be as simple making up for the bad karma you had in previous lives or as grand as changing the world in some small way.In 1988, I figured out that my life improved in spurts not gradually. I am a leaper. I consider, study and go through some soul searching, then I leap. I get into flow very easily. I love dogs, swimming in the ocean and any lake. I like to sing and eat. I like to write and things come clear once I write about them. I like the night and the stars. I envision spectacular solar furnaces, black holes, and beacon-like things in space. I am very much in love with science fiction. I love being alone or solitary in my mind. I am a flyer in my dreams. I am very adept at getting what I want, though not necessarily in the time frames my ego wants. I fight and win battles daily with my ego. My subconscious does not learn fast at all. I call it my horse and I am a creature of habit. More than likely, I'm still falling in the holes I know are there and sometimes walking around them. This is my fault and I usually get out immediately. Sometimes, I even walk down a different street. I enjoy my life the way I have created it. Even though money sometimes is a challenge, I am determined not to worry about it. Most of the time, I succeed. I lose myself in the act of doing whatever I'm doing. I love whatever I do and do not consider it work. I drink a lot of water so I am very healthy and do not have many blockages that I can remember. I grew up as a WASP and quickly got out of that racket. I do not want to be blamed for what my descendants did to others. Whenever I recognize an error in my character, I correct it. My wife is very good at pointing these out so I never lack for things to work on. I am rather lazy by choice. I meditate a lot. I daydream a lot. I stare into space a lot. I am happiest alone in my car. My mind drifts to any subject in my car and it is where I do my best thinking. I am most comfortable in my chair in my bedroom. I get comfortable easy and fast. I am very good at adapting to an environment. My wife is very creative so I have to be quick on the uptake. I was born slow so she could be fast. I am always farting because I am always eating. I could go on, but what's the point. You get the message, I'm as fouled up as everyone else is. I'm the best at what I do as long as what I do is not defined. I have a great time going through my life, stumbling along. I am no better than anyone else. I have my faults which my wife sees with clarity. I am too opinionated for my own good. I judge too quickly and forgive too slowly. I give too much and receive too little. I am a good giver and a lousy receiver. I am ready to evolve, but into what? I can see clearly now and it is worth the difference. I am an observer. I am a player. Life is a game. I make my own reality everyday and if it is the same as everyone else's, I am sorry for the outcome. I strive to be different. I was an angry young man and now I've swung the pendulum the other way. I am now a passivist who would have trouble hurting anyone or anything except through my ignorance of the problem. Live and let live. I have a lot of information and a little bit of knowledge and less wisdom. I am very quiet and shy most of the time. I learned a long time that it was okay to look , but don't you dare touch. This supposed truth made me scared of other people. To this day, I have trouble with a simple touch. I also have trouble with concept of god. I'm part of the Universe and I can even appeal to the Universal Field for help on a solution, but for me to mention that I'm not in charge of my life and I'm just a part of a something much larger; well, it's hard for me to conceptualize no free will and fatalism. I have a soul or spirit and I will go on to different dimensions when I'm through here or come back if I'm stuck in one form of karma or another. There is a lot more to the universe than meets the eye, due to the limitations of field of physical vision or perspective. My perception creates my reality. I know the universe is one big energy field filled with light and dark. Light and dark are opposites and what is light here in 3-D space is dark in another space. There are aliens. They belong here as much as we do. We can't get along with them and there is going to be conflict at some point. There are no broken souls and that original sin and all other sins are just a way to make us feel guilty so we won't notice what is really important. What is really important is that which never changes. This is heaven. I made it beautiful. The ego is a part of all us and needs to be taught silence. We have ruined the earth for future generations and I care because I ‘m part of the earth too.. I know that in some dimensions the earth is a crystal and in others it is hollow, it just depends on your point of view. The governments are keeping information from us that may make us go crazy, but it should be my decision not theirs. I can and do perform miracles everyday. I am a co-creator of it all every time I wake up. I am a closet writer. I live in the moment within the flow. I am aware of my sphere of influence and not much more by design and I'm sick of it. If it was up to me, I'd heal the world and it is up to me, as long as I start with me first. I tried once to heal the world and I did succeed for an instant. I filled the world with the light of my soul or thought I did. Great streamers of light flowed out of my eyes and covered the whole world for an instant. It was a very exhilarating moment to live through. I heal very quickly when I don't mess with the process. As long as I detach from the outcome, I get what I want eventually and usually faster, although it is not in a recognizable form that is acceptable to my ego at the point when it shows up. I can manifest alright as long as I do not require it on a specific time frame. Manifestations do not come from this space-time continuum I am a self endowed being of light that came here with a purpose. My goal of this life is find that purpose and fulfill it while noticing all the moments that I co-create in the meantime. One of the moments I notice is my time with Aurita. I love her plainly and simply. I know that the love I feel for her is not totally reciprocated and I am a little saddened by that thought. It is by far better to love someone unconditionally and realize that the same is not true for the other human being than to not have loved unconditionally at all. When I watch a movie with her the love just pours out, gushing all over the bed or wherever we are watching it. I sing to her all the time and she is tone deaf. I know she appreciates the words but if only she could hear the music as I do. Her world is sight and smell while mine hearing and touch. I guess that is what comes from being deprived of touch half my life. We touch all the time and I become like putty in her arms. She has such wonderful hair to kiss. She is so playful and creative. What a cook she is! She keeps me alive and tied to this world. I often wonder if life can get any better and just as I begin to doubt, I see another sunset or mountain in a different light. That is why one should live for the moment because each moment is brand new and worth viewing, hearing, and/or feeling. I now feel so connected to the 3-D world I just cry for joy. I am crying everyday several times now and I understand why now. I love my life and would not change a thing. I become more aware each day of the variety of ways that I can just be me, here now. This is just enough desire left in me to keep me hungry for more wisdom. As usual, time will pass me by if I don't notice it going by. Take your time and smell the roses, for all too soon, they will be gone. You see a rose lives in the moment like we all do. I am a weird kind of ecologist because I have to have my technology. I do not see that as a conflict, just a promise to clean the earth up and leave it better than we found it. How can I not know I'm a god when I see what we are capable of. I have performed miracles myself. I am a whole spirit and not broken as everyone thinks. I am not guilty of any sin unless it is not finding my purpose for being on earth. I don't have to apologize to anyone or explain my actions if I do no harm to anyone or thing while I'm on this planet in space. Now that is a tall order, just go through the life review without having anything to be sorry for, that's the ticket to next dimension. The trials and tribulations of this world are only tests of your courage to hang on to your spirit's dreams. I came here with a purpose and it is my job to play around here until I find out what it is. I am the co-creator of this world along with everyone else on the earth. Each day I wake up from my dreams, I make the shift from one type of consciousness to another. There are as many dimensions as you can dream about. I make a different reality every time I go to sleep and wake up. We are all part of a system that never fails, but we have our own individuality too. It is built in me as my ego. My job is to make my ego become my spirit so that they will be in sync. The system is always changing taking on the challenges of each spirit who reincarnates here. We all fit in even if we think we don't sometimes. Chaos is only chaos from the unenlightened point of view. To judge others from your point of view is futile, but worse than that, its pointless. If you think your opinion matters to anyone save yourself, you are on the wrong track. Its like the Guru who walked in rags to a coat and tie party and did not notice. Ego trips are about as worthless as they are inefficient. What a waste of time, worrying about what you can or cannot control, when you could be noticing how you float around on a cloud in a dream. Peace is the only way to live. There is a worthy goal to achieve, no matter who comes around, I can choose peace. Peace is in the flow of life. Get quiet and you'll know it is true. When you lose hours doing something you love, you are living so much in the moment that time does not exist for you. You step out of 3-D into the dimension of manifesting. When your work is your bliss, you pull it all together. There is flow. When you are able to focus on the moment with your thought, feelings, and actions, you become an enlightened being able of direct manifestation.Inside of me there is an light based energy that dances through my days just hoping my ego will eventually wake up to see the light. I've got to detach from the outcome and go with the flow of life as it comes to me, managing the coincidences of my life, as it were. I've got recognize that I'm worthy of living in peace and harmony with it all because I'm a part of it all. I have free will and that means I can consciously join with my soul and have a congruent life. I am fit to live as a god if I live up to my purpose for being here on earth at this point in time. This means if I'm not living the life I imagined, I've got to examine my feelings and go for the intent of what my soul intended to do while it was here on this planet in 3-D. By any old standard of what we knew about physics, we shouldn't be here at all. We still haven't decided to bite the bullet and accept the truth about us. This 3-D mask we play in is just a charade at best, compared to what we are capable of doing. If we consciously connect to the source that is us, we will find out that we are beings capable of immense enjoyment who choose to constantly live in the light. If we think about what we now know to be true, the answer is right in front of us. A photon on one side of the universe is in contact with another on the other side because they are connected through the source of light as we are. We are individual beings with a free will that our soul has given us, for sure, but there is another side to the wonder of it all and that is only accessible through flow.Flow is most easily accessed when we are constantly aware of what is going on in this moment. One of the best ways to accomplish this is to get silent and listen or observe what happens. Everything slows down. I'm not talking about concentration. I'm talking about the free flow of ideas from the universal field to us. How we get things done is throw out an intent or desire and then sit back and watch it happen, acting when things are thrown our way. Manifesting happens in the field of all possibilities not in 3-D. Our eyes cannot physically see the microscopic details, but they are there just the same. We are physically built on an energy grid that we can access at any time if we are consistent in our intent. We access it by being on purpose in this life. First we figure out what feels good to do without harming anyone else in the process and then we do it. It sounds easy and it is if we are not letting our ego run away with us. The ego is built up on pleasure. We all seek it out in the normal course of living. The idea is flow and if we are stuck on pleasure all the time, we cannot go with the flow. That which is constant never changes, or the one thing you can count on in this life is change so that is the constant. If we are in the flow or stream of consciousness that goes on in the field at all times, we notice the moment, savor it, and let it go for the next. If we hold onto things we get stuck, then we can't be in the flow. When we're not in flow, there is no magic in our lives because we have left our spirit, which lives in the flow. Our soul dances in the light all the time. The more we are in flow, the more we are on purpose in our lives. I equate flow with the field of all possibilities. When I am in flow, I am at peace. Simple Logic teaches us then that flow gives peace and whatever creates peace in our lives is when we are the happiest. When someone cannot distract you from your peace then you found the flow state of being. Staying in the flow state is being constantly aware of each moment's potential for happiness. Of course , since this is a neutral 3-D universe, every high has its respective low, and every light side has its dark side. When we fall out of the flow state, we can then experience the other side as the flow state is an energy state in the field and not in 3-D. If we are properly put together we notice our drop in energy levels and proceed to ascend back to the flow state. Normally when our ego is stuck on the pleasure of a certain 3-D object this is when we drop out of flow. When we are spontaneously acting or lost in the act, we don't have time to mess things up by dwelling on the seeming pleasure of this moment so we don't miss the next flow event to pass through 3-D for us to experience. Never leaving the flow state is one goal to be aware of, but achieving the peace that it requires to attain that state is our purpose for being here. This is where free will comes in the picture because how you achieve peace may be and probably is a lot different than what I would do to achieve it. Once you achieve it, you never want to leave it so here is the quandary we face. Each time we achieve it, the conditions are not the same so you have to grow constantly to be able to achieve constant peace or flow. Inherent in life's game is growth or the lack of it. Most people grow in spurts and fits and not evenly due to the fact that we love to sit back and lap in the pleasure of achieving a goal. When we stop growing we stop the flow. We grow by noticing and adapting to the changes that life throws our way. By growth I mean we actually act on the coincidences of our life as they happen to further us down the road or process toward what makes us peaceful. Why I say peace and not happiness or pleasure is that these are ego trips that one can take along the way, trying to rationalize the process. We deserve it because we're great will not get you in the flow, it will bring you out of flow because when we're bragging we're stuck in that last moment and haven't acknowledged that life has left us behind. In the stock market as in life, it's what have you done for me lately kind of existence. When we expect rewards, we hardly ever get them. We must detach from the outcome and let the universe handle the details. When we expect something in return for what we have just done, we are waiting for an action. While we are waiting , we are not in flow. Worse yet, we are stuck, hoping for an outcome. It an ego trip kind of thing. We have to teach ourselves that to be in flow or at peace, we have to go silent and act in accordance with our purpose. The outcome we should expect is peace which comes naturally for anyone in flow. People who get stuck for a long period of time usually get sick or financially ill in some way. They are out of the flow of life. Every time I have cleaned out a closet and thrown away some things I haven't used in a long time, I feel lighter and more carefree. The lighter you feel the better. The rocks of our lives are supposed to be dropped and this allows us to pick up new ones and repeat the process. Most gurus live very lightly with a minimum of excess baggage around them. The more you carry through life, the more you tied to a specific way of doing things or rigid in your thinking. Rigid is the antithesis of life. As soon as a tree becomes rigid . It blows over in the wind. Flexibility is the name of the game if you want to be ready for change. Flexibility implies no baggage to carry around so make sure you are psychologically clean. I know this implies work but nothing comes without effort in this world and that includes manifesting what you want out of life. Most of us in America can manifest a home or apartment to live in, at least 1 car to drive, and some creature comforts to make life comfortable. That is about as far or as hard as most of us want to work. This kind of achievement requires no soul searching, no real changes of any kind. It is our crowd's evolutionary level. If, however, you want more than just a comfortable life, you have to stretch yourself a bit. Growth implies work , but it does not have to be that way always. The work you do to achieve this could be as simple as thinking about the quality not the quantity of your life. Once you start this journey, you could perceive it as fun, meditating away in your favorite chair. Sooner or later, you will have to move, if only to eat. If you act in the same way according to the same thought patterns you have always had, you will get what more of what you have right now. While that may be pleasurable, you will have stopped the flow of the field into your life. Pretty soon boredom will set in and you may do something stupid and lose it all. If that happens, you have to pick your self up off the floor and start again to grow into the flow. If you haven't forgotten the way in your ego-like stupor all wrapped up in yourself and the pleasure of standing still in the light. If you stand still in the light, you get burned, take it from one who knows. Getting back into the flow can be a process, but it can be done, as I have done it several times. You have to do a lot of soul searching in the quiet mode. Somehow you have to find out what turns your soul on not just your ego. When you find it you'll usually be in flow again at least briefly. Don't lose the thought in your ego driven happiness to have found peace again. It will be different than it was before if you ever had it in the first place. Just take note of where you what you are doing and try to do more of it in the future. If you are quiet and have patience, peace will come to you. It is hardly ever in the way you thought it would be, but it will come and knock at your feet when you least expect it to. Act when it comes evaluating your feelings as you go. Will this action bring me more peace or not? You ego will begin to doubt immediately. Am I kidding myself or am I really at peace while doing this? Do not wonder if you can make any money at it or not. Most likely you won't think you can. Don't let those weak thoughts into your consciousness. Trust the peace you receive and go on. If you follow your bliss, you will be in congruence with your soul's purpose in this life and this is where flow is. Most likely you will feel light and in automatic mode when flow occurs, just go with it, riding it for as long as you can, for this is the manifesting state of awareness. It can be fleeting if you let your self think about it. You can observe that flow is happening, but if you want to shut it down, just analyze it and tear it apart. Even if you could tear it down and define each part of it, it still boils down to just knowing that you can do it and then getting in the flow. Flow comes from a different energy level that has no 3-D rules. Flow doesn't care who you are, what you have done, or when you want it. If you step in the flow, you can get anything you want back . It all depends on how much you want it. It often requires total focus and lots of perfect practice, but you can also be in flow going to the bathroom, baking a cake, being silent, playing your favorite game, or building your dreams. What you think about expands. If you dwell on your being a victim, guilty , doubtful, and/or worrying, then that is what will expand for you, in spite of how much you want something to happen in your life. If you are always saying I am not worthy, or worse, listening to your family, friends, and significant others tear your dreams down, then your feelings and thinking will not be pure. That is when you must get quietly focused on what you want to have happen and not get distracted by errant thoughts. I use meditation and that is what works for me. It may not work for you. You have to find your own special place to be quiet. I often listen to my heartbeat to get focused. If you are stuck anywhere in your life while attempting to manifest, it will show up as a distraction that will not go away and therefore any attempt to manifest what you want in this state will not happen. You have to get clear and clean with respect to your thoughts and feelings. If you succeed in finding your bliss and are lucky enough to practice it, then you know what flow is and know any 3-D description of it is useless. Knowing that full well, I shall attempt a 3-D example that is fairly close to what I envision to happen. I attract into my life what I think about or dwell on most of the time. I think that is a fair statement of verifiable fact ion our world. Although it might take a considerable amount of time, there is something magical about concentration of heart and mind on a goal. I believe it is all a matter of energy and connectedness. I am quite literally a magnet of small power, that is, I generate electromagnetic waves through my electromagnetic signature or "aura". When I step into the field of all possibilities or flow, I find that I have been connected all the time to it without realizing it. Anyway, I provide a focal point of operation within the field which what some people attempt to define the soul in 3-D terms is. It is through being connected that the power arises to manifest the thought. My small magnet is poled to others through my pure intent. It is like a drop of water in the ocean. When you take the drop of water out of the ocean, it is at the mercy of the elements, however, if that drop is joined to the ocean again, it is a part of an element of the earth and becomes very powerful indeed. My small magnet is now a large magnetic force capable of possibly producing the sub-atomic particle-waves that make up the meson and quark that then grow into an electron, proton, and or neutron. This not just any atomic particle however, it is a particle fused with an intent such as a rose in a rose garden. Let's bring it down to a real life example that is familiar. The Berlin Wall coming down or the fall of the Soviet Union. These events came about because enough people got behind the idea that it was possible to live without these hassle in our lives any longer. How many people did it take? I don't know. But the people who cared enough about it to make it happen had pure thoughts and that is why I believe it happened. That is, they knew they could make it happen. Its like a phase change from liquid to solid or gas. What determines when water changes form liquid to ice or moisture? That is, how much of the water has to change before it is officially ice or moisture. It has been determined through exhaustive analysis in the USSR that if you control or kill approximately 16-20 % of the people, the rest will fall in line. You have to keep controlling or killing these people to show you are serious, but it actually worked for a long time. In the 3-D world of the stock market, how difficult is it to sell a stock or an option on an exchange. First, let's say that you place your order to sell a 5000 share lot of stock, your order goes through a broker or an Internet brokerage system or checks and balances to determine if it is a good order (pure thought), then fairly soon it gets to a market maker or specialist who assembles your order into the market,now if the market is too low to sell at your price you must wait, the question is how do you get it up to where you want to sell,this is where flow comes into play, you must convince the market to rise in order to sell,you get silent and go into flow knowing that the stock market is your bliss and you can do it, no other extraneous thought enters your consciousness, there is only you, your intent, and the field of all possibilities, you are the magnet now that start s drawing people from around the world who want to buy your stock, but perhaps they weren't aware of the possibility right then,your intent alone lets their souls be aware of the possibility, so their souls jump into action by poling to your intent and plant a thought in the3-d world of wanting to buy your stock,That thought takes shape and depending on how pure your intent is, how many distracting thoughts come into your soul's energy pattern at that time, other people start calling their brokers or putting orders into their computers, it is just a matter of time now, and the market makers or specialists start marking up the price to contend with flow of buy orders. And Walla, you've done it, you've sold you stock. You have just manifested money in your account where there was only a thought before. It could be only a matter of minutes, or it could be years, or never. It could also be under some one else's control, but he or she just wanted to buy at the same time you wanted to sell. There are no coincidences in the 3-d world. What seems like chaos to you is not. Just because you don't have enough wisdom to make sense of it right now, doesn't alter the fact that a connection exists. The point is thoughts and feelings are powerful things when they are connected to it all. I've got news for you. We are all connected. It has been proven that when scientists' wants an experiment to go a certain way and he is alone dealing with very small particles, their thoughts can directly affect the outcome of their experiments. Now, take that fact and blow it up to the berlin wall or the USSR and you have many individuals all hoping , wishing, believing that they would be better off without these items in their way, and all it took was a few individuals who knew they were connected and with pure intent poled to all the others who were just wishing that they could have a life without those obstructions in their lives, and Walla, the obstacles are gone. The purer you thought and or feeling is, the faster you can make it happen, theoretically anyway. In reality, the field of all possibilities does not pay attention to time or space in the 3-D world. It just pays attention to energy flow. That energy flow in the form of spiritual energy patterns is always connected, just waiting for you to think or feel the right thought so the field can bring into being what your purpose is on this earth. That intent is just one thought when it is not connected, but when you finally wake up every once in a while to the fact that we are all connected to the field, you too can perform the so-called magic of manifestation.
Onward
Since , I must begin somewhere and now is as good as any other time, now is the time I choose.
My story begins early in my life, in fact before I even was conscious that I had a story to tell. Prior to coming here, I was given a choice of who I wanted to learn about 3-D from. I chose my parents or the lack thereof. So much for me being born with a silver spoon in my mouth because I chose good parents, but working class stiffs. Mother & Father never gave a thought to anything like I do. Another thought that has no place in my life and that was and still is blame. I , to this day cannot blame my parents for what I chose to do about their teaching me right and wrong. Right and wrong are different sides of the same coin. It all depends on your point of view. Really, it just a lot of people taking themselves way too seriously, and to think I used to be one of them.
While we're on the subject of useless human traits, let's leave envy at the door when we go in 3-D. I chose these conditions to learn what I had to learn in order to get on with my spiritual life as a being of light. I can also choose not to learn, then I get to repeat this whole thing in another lifetime or two. Wait a minute, I'm not even alive yet and I have just thrown out some major foibles in this 3-d life. Maybe my life is all about being responsible for my own thoughts and therefore, actions. Back up here, thought patterns or more properly called mind patterns, just how do they create action? I don't have time a or the inclination to write a book on that subject, so I will summarize the high and low points. As I understand it, it all starts with your mind pattern. Who, then, provides the original thought to get you going down your path. You, in your being of light form provides the hint of direction, be careful, it's subtle. You let reality be the heavy. If you don't take the hint, then reality knocks and hard, to wake you up before the cliff happens. It all happens in symbols, using allegorical methods. This is just to see if you're awake as you go through life, or in a rut that is oh so deep. If you can take a hint and use it to build a mind pattern on, then you get to grow. You've got to be alert because it's rarely where you are looking at the time it comes by. Why do these hints come so hard? Possibly, it's only us making it hard when it is simple to get the point, all we have to do is notice life as it happens.
Like it or not it is a Stimulus- Response world of opposite feelings. Just as our mind pattern makes our DNA, our feelings make us who we are in 3-D. Our feelings largely determine what we go after, giving our lives the meaning we seek. If we are on track, our soul is content to grow while we live in flow from moment to moment. If not, we get hints, as to our direction. These are not always subtle, but came be as 3-D life threatening as a car accident that ends our lives. The hint can be a gentle nudge like a computer suddenly turning off for no apparent reason. Both of these hints leave you wondering as to what is going on here, that is where the fun comes into it. Now. You have something to figure out in this lifetime, the quicker you get it, the more you grow in this lifetime. How you become quick is generally through silence. When you silence your mind and all the backtalk that goes on, you have time to notice what is going on in 3-D. That's right, paying the mortgage is not what it is about.
You start by noticing the connections between things you take for granted, like the sunrise and the clouds versus the mountains if you are lucky enough to have mountains, or the sea, if you are blessed with life on our coasts, or near a large body of water. There is something serene about a shoreline. You can see it forever. A baby or small child takes this point of view everyday and delights in what it can find to do with that day. Hardly a small child passes me by without a smile coming to my face because I know they are learning things constantly, throwing food just to see it splash. Yes, they are messy but they are going through an experimentation phase, having quite good time making messes. With every mess, comes another chapter of life ending as they hear no almost constantly through this phase. They hurt themselves and others during this phase too, just to see the effect, or through sheer inability to comprehend the consequences of their actions. I once put a headlock on a neighbor kid long enough for him to black out just as a test to see what would happen. Or, there was the time I threw my little brother off a cliff to see if he would bounce. Or the time when that same little brother was calmly whaling on my middle brother with a tinker toy can just to see what would happen. I ‘ll never forget my first knife and my first inclination was to cut myself to see the blood rush and then stop, as if learning the blood clotting mechanism first hand.
Somewhere along the time line you get normalized, or worse yet scared of what happens when you do things, so you stop noticing and get comfortable in your rut from birth to death. As for me, I just got scared about 8-9 years old when I would dream at night of things and then I would hear of them coming true. These were nightmares mostly, of train wrecks and the like. When I got scared, I stopped dreaming, consciously making an effort to shut down remembering my dreams, as if that would make them go away. I got scared of my abilities to make things happen. I decided to quit making things, good and bad, happen. Now, I have real trouble remembering any dream even if I want to. About this time, I stopped visualizing totally. Guess what, today I don't even have a faint clue as to how to visualize. I clearly shut out the world at an early age. Early decisions last a while, when not examined, as to their truth or validity.
Did I mention I was precocious, well I was. From six, I used to love to play doctor and take people's clothes off, just to see what they were like. Well, one day when I was eight, Kristie, the girl next door, and I were examining each other and we were caught by our mothers. We were both beat within an inch of lives. That was the single most transforming event in my life, as I never paid any attention to anyone again until I was about thirty or so. I was determined to look, but don't you dare touch because if you do , something bad will happen. Beatings for me, were the norm, as I was always into things that I wasn't supposed to touch, let alone be near. These, however, were another matter entirely, as I was just starting to explore. I decided then and there that people just weren't worth the effort to figure out. Another decision that I still live with to this day. I developed a thick skin that to this day cannot be penetrated. I find it very hard to get mad at people because they are not worth the effort. I almost jump out of my skin every time someone touches me, which I keep to a definite minimum. I find it difficult to touch anyone and will go to great lengths to justify not touching someone, except when I absolutely cannot get out of it. I am a solitary person, one who observes a lot and interacts very seldom, if at all. I took and still am taking the easy way out. I have missed a lot of my life, by shutting off my feelings. I have heard it all my life that I live in my mind. I am constantly making choices and decisions about the reasons for life and why it exists. For a person who does not interact with my fellow man or woman, I have become to astound myself with my insights into the human psyche.
My life began as any other, rather carefree in childhood. I had always been a solitary child, sort of lost in my own world. Don't get me wrong, I had friends, just not very close ones. Every time I looked around, I didn't really like what I saw. I became an observer of life, not a liver of life. I was and still am rather cynical about life in general. I saw then as I do now people constantly doing things that don't make sense and perhaps never did. Being cynical is easy as is being a pessimist, which I had boatloads of. I was always too good for the people I saw. In my lofty tower, I observed all kinds of different nightmarish kinds of things happening and contributed to a few I guess. I went to college, got a degree, without learning anything at all. I knew college would get me a job and that was all I needed to know. It was purely a backup for me anyway as I loved then and still do love cutting stone. It is my trade, but I cannot make a decent living at it as I selected to do it. I have tried and failed at Commodities & the Stock Market. I can write a book about the market that would be true but I don't have the temperament to trade. I have been an Engineer who was a very good technician. I am lousy at selling even at what I love doing. I have great confidence in my ability to do anything well that I choose. Now I'm shifting gears again and going off in a new direction. I was taught as a child to be independent so I was to a fault. I was very lonely, observing life as I did. I neglected the social graces entirely as if they didn't matter. I put my emotions on a shelf to deal with sometime later. No matter what I did, nothing got to my heart. So I continue with stonework as a substitute for what I don't know. I also wrote dark poetry for a time. I didn't pay attention to anything that mattered because I was not taught to any real soul searching, but I was always daydreaming anyway.. I figured out religion a long time ago and left permanently. I seemed to grow during deep discussion with others only I rarely had any discussion with others. I forgot that man is a social being and has social needs to be with someone else at certain times. I still spend a lot of time alone thinking and meditating. I am most ly myself in my car driving alone. There my mind can roam free. I love to drive because of the beauty of the earth. The night is the best because I love the stars. I am free to see all kinds of things happening like shooting stars and flying saucers. Most of all I love the mountains. Looking at them, I wonder how they came to be as they are. I am an Internet junkie. I like information of all sorts and types. I can find things that no one else can find.Now when I look at things, I realize how wrong I was and an odd irony comes over me. Ayn Rand was one of my idols. One should never see his idols as real people because it is defeating. I now see her as a very sad individual who got the gist of it at all. She was a great writer who wanted more. In a very real sense she destroyed Americans who also wanted more than what they saw around them. She taught that our five senses did not matter, only seeing did matter and furthermore only what she wanted us to see. She was a powerful work of art who destroyed people right and left. She totally left out anything connected with emotion and called it bad. To emote was moral treason. She used people unbelievably and very irrationally. She had her own brand of reason and if you fell from grace, you did not exist. She hated dictators with a passion, but was the very thing she hated until the end. She did not understand tenderness or compassion and considered anyone who was compassionate to be utterly weak. She loved people without caring what she was doing and used sex to gain power over people and feed her own drive to work. I am still unlearning what she taught me and I will be for the rest of my current life. What I learned throughout the first part of my life was not worth much as I was too conceited to pay any attention to what was real or what never changed. I had a pretty neutral childhood and I cannot remember my mother or my father really teaching me anything of any consequence. I did not grow up in a loving family or a touching family. I lacked for nothing mostly because I worked for anything that I ever wanted very bad. I paid my way through college. There were two things I learned there and they were: 1) method and 2) Humanities. Method got me a job which I kept until I didn't want it anymore. I thought I had a good bead on things when I retired. It just goes to show you how wrong a person can be about what really matters in life. Humanities taught me to be an observer of life and a critic. Both parts came easy for me. I was a coward to actually go out and live life so I watched it from afar. I am a good noticer of things that don't matter. This is what makes me a superb engineer. I love details. I love solving problems and bringing solutions to the problems I see.In 1968, I tried to commit suicide over a song from a movie called Valley of the Dolls. The song was called WHY and I had no answer to the question, not even a clue. I blamed the whole thing on the Navy and got a discharge. I went to work in stone and avoided the whole issue. I resolved never to be bored again. In 1975, I forgave my parents for how they raised me, as they were just doing the best they knew how at the time. I remember crying in front of both of them and getting a fair response from my mother. My father thought I was going crazy, of course he did the best he knew how but that was nothing to cry about. As far as he was concerned I should get busy and not spend so much time thinking about it. My sudden awakening was in 1978 when a person told me exactly what I was doing to myself and others. I wanted to hurt him, not physically, but mentally, however, I knew he was right. It took 5 years for me to admit it to myself. My wife got me the engineering job that I retired from recently. I realized I needed something more and she came along filled the void. My solution to personal problems has always been to avoid them and they will go away. She is my greatest teacher. I had to learn to appreciate her. I have always loved her unconditionally and always will. Marriage requires a unique state of mind. There is an openness to has to shared in marriage for it to truly work right. Wayne Dyer says it best, you have to be kind not right because your spirit just wants peace.By now, I had my answer to WHY and it was a simple answer at that. It still is my answer today.We are here to fulfill our life mission which has the side benefits of noticing the moments of your life, helping others, having fun, learning in the process, and doing no harm. Your mission is for you to figure out. It could be as simple making up for the bad karma you had in previous lives or as grand as changing the world in some small way.In 1988, I figured out that my life improved in spurts not gradually. I am a leaper. I consider, study and go through some soul searching, then I leap. I get into flow very easily. I love dogs, swimming in the ocean and any lake. I like to sing and eat. I like to write and things come clear once I write about them. I like the night and the stars. I envision spectacular solar furnaces, black holes, and beacon-like things in space. I am very much in love with science fiction. I love being alone or solitary in my mind. I am a flyer in my dreams. I am very adept at getting what I want, though not necessarily in the time frames my ego wants. I fight and win battles daily with my ego. My subconscious does not learn fast at all. I call it my horse and I am a creature of habit. More than likely, I'm still falling in the holes I know are there and sometimes walking around them. This is my fault and I usually get out immediately. Sometimes, I even walk down a different street. I enjoy my life the way I have created it. Even though money sometimes is a challenge, I am determined not to worry about it. Most of the time, I succeed. I lose myself in the act of doing whatever I'm doing. I love whatever I do and do not consider it work. I drink a lot of water so I am very healthy and do not have many blockages that I can remember. I grew up as a WASP and quickly got out of that racket. I do not want to be blamed for what my descendants did to others. Whenever I recognize an error in my character, I correct it. My wife is very good at pointing these out so I never lack for things to work on. I am rather lazy by choice. I meditate a lot. I daydream a lot. I stare into space a lot. I am happiest alone in my car. My mind drifts to any subject in my car and it is where I do my best thinking. I am most comfortable in my chair in my bedroom. I get comfortable easy and fast. I am very good at adapting to an environment. My wife is very creative so I have to be quick on the uptake. I was born slow so she could be fast. I am always farting because I am always eating. I could go on, but what's the point. You get the message, I'm as fouled up as everyone else is. I'm the best at what I do as long as what I do is not defined. I have a great time going through my life, stumbling along. I am no better than anyone else. I have my faults which my wife sees with clarity. I am too opinionated for my own good. I judge too quickly and forgive too slowly. I give too much and receive too little. I am a good giver and a lousy receiver. I am ready to evolve, but into what? I can see clearly now and it is worth the difference. I am an observer. I am a player. Life is a game. I make my own reality everyday and if it is the same as everyone else's, I am sorry for the outcome. I strive to be different. I was an angry young man and now I've swung the pendulum the other way. I am now a passivist who would have trouble hurting anyone or anything except through my ignorance of the problem. Live and let live. I have a lot of information and a little bit of knowledge and less wisdom. I am very quiet and shy most of the time. I learned a long time that it was okay to look , but don't you dare touch. This supposed truth made me scared of other people. To this day, I have trouble with a simple touch. I also have trouble with concept of god. I'm part of the Universe and I can even appeal to the Universal Field for help on a solution, but for me to mention that I'm not in charge of my life and I'm just a part of a something much larger; well, it's hard for me to conceptualize no free will and fatalism. I have a soul or spirit and I will go on to different dimensions when I'm through here or come back if I'm stuck in one form of karma or another. There is a lot more to the universe than meets the eye, due to the limitations of field of physical vision or perspective. My perception creates my reality. I know the universe is one big energy field filled with light and dark. Light and dark are opposites and what is light here in 3-D space is dark in another space. There are aliens. They belong here as much as we do. We can't get along with them and there is going to be conflict at some point. There are no broken souls and that original sin and all other sins are just a way to make us feel guilty so we won't notice what is really important. What is really important is that which never changes. This is heaven. I made it beautiful. The ego is a part of all us and needs to be taught silence. We have ruined the earth for future generations and I care because I ‘m part of the earth too.. I know that in some dimensions the earth is a crystal and in others it is hollow, it just depends on your point of view. The governments are keeping information from us that may make us go crazy, but it should be my decision not theirs. I can and do perform miracles everyday. I am a co-creator of it all every time I wake up. I am a closet writer. I live in the moment within the flow. I am aware of my sphere of influence and not much more by design and I'm sick of it. If it was up to me, I'd heal the world and it is up to me, as long as I start with me first. I tried once to heal the world and I did succeed for an instant. I filled the world with the light of my soul or thought I did. Great streamers of light flowed out of my eyes and covered the whole world for an instant. It was a very exhilarating moment to live through. I heal very quickly when I don't mess with the process. As long as I detach from the outcome, I get what I want eventually and usually faster, although it is not in a recognizable form that is acceptable to my ego at the point when it shows up. I can manifest alright as long as I do not require it on a specific time frame. Manifestations do not come from this space-time continuum I am a self endowed being of light that came here with a purpose. My goal of this life is find that purpose and fulfill it while noticing all the moments that I co-create in the meantime. One of the moments I notice is my time with Aurita. I love her plainly and simply. I know that the love I feel for her is not totally reciprocated and I am a little saddened by that thought. It is by far better to love someone unconditionally and realize that the same is not true for the other human being than to not have loved unconditionally at all. When I watch a movie with her the love just pours out, gushing all over the bed or wherever we are watching it. I sing to her all the time and she is tone deaf. I know she appreciates the words but if only she could hear the music as I do. Her world is sight and smell while mine hearing and touch. I guess that is what comes from being deprived of touch half my life. We touch all the time and I become like putty in her arms. She has such wonderful hair to kiss. She is so playful and creative. What a cook she is! She keeps me alive and tied to this world. I often wonder if life can get any better and just as I begin to doubt, I see another sunset or mountain in a different light. That is why one should live for the moment because each moment is brand new and worth viewing, hearing, and/or feeling. I now feel so connected to the 3-D world I just cry for joy. I am crying everyday several times now and I understand why now. I love my life and would not change a thing. I become more aware each day of the variety of ways that I can just be me, here now. This is just enough desire left in me to keep me hungry for more wisdom. As usual, time will pass me by if I don't notice it going by. Take your time and smell the roses, for all too soon, they will be gone. You see a rose lives in the moment like we all do. I am a weird kind of ecologist because I have to have my technology. I do not see that as a conflict, just a promise to clean the earth up and leave it better than we found it. How can I not know I'm a god when I see what we are capable of. I have performed miracles myself. I am a whole spirit and not broken as everyone thinks. I am not guilty of any sin unless it is not finding my purpose for being on earth. I don't have to apologize to anyone or explain my actions if I do no harm to anyone or thing while I'm on this planet in space. Now that is a tall order, just go through the life review without having anything to be sorry for, that's the ticket to next dimension. The trials and tribulations of this world are only tests of your courage to hang on to your spirit's dreams. I came here with a purpose and it is my job to play around here until I find out what it is. I am the co-creator of this world along with everyone else on the earth. Each day I wake up from my dreams, I make the shift from one type of consciousness to another. There are as many dimensions as you can dream about. I make a different reality every time I go to sleep and wake up. We are all part of a system that never fails, but we have our own individuality too. It is built in me as my ego. My job is to make my ego become my spirit so that they will be in sync. The system is always changing taking on the challenges of each spirit who reincarnates here. We all fit in even if we think we don't sometimes. Chaos is only chaos from the unenlightened point of view. To judge others from your point of view is futile, but worse than that, its pointless. If you think your opinion matters to anyone save yourself, you are on the wrong track. Its like the Guru who walked in rags to a coat and tie party and did not notice. Ego trips are about as worthless as they are inefficient. What a waste of time, worrying about what you can or cannot control, when you could be noticing how you float around on a cloud in a dream. Peace is the only way to live. There is a worthy goal to achieve, no matter who comes around, I can choose peace. Peace is in the flow of life. Get quiet and you'll know it is true. When you lose hours doing something you love, you are living so much in the moment that time does not exist for you. You step out of 3-D into the dimension of manifesting. When your work is your bliss, you pull it all together. There is flow. When you are able to focus on the moment with your thought, feelings, and actions, you become an enlightened being able of direct manifestation.Inside of me there is an light based energy that dances through my days just hoping my ego will eventually wake up to see the light. I've got to detach from the outcome and go with the flow of life as it comes to me, managing the coincidences of my life, as it were. I've got recognize that I'm worthy of living in peace and harmony with it all because I'm a part of it all. I have free will and that means I can consciously join with my soul and have a congruent life. I am fit to live as a god if I live up to my purpose for being here on earth at this point in time. This means if I'm not living the life I imagined, I've got to examine my feelings and go for the intent of what my soul intended to do while it was here on this planet in 3-D. By any old standard of what we knew about physics, we shouldn't be here at all. We still haven't decided to bite the bullet and accept the truth about us. This 3-D mask we play in is just a charade at best, compared to what we are capable of doing. If we consciously connect to the source that is us, we will find out that we are beings capable of immense enjoyment who choose to constantly live in the light. If we think about what we now know to be true, the answer is right in front of us. A photon on one side of the universe is in contact with another on the other side because they are connected through the source of light as we are. We are individual beings with a free will that our soul has given us, for sure, but there is another side to the wonder of it all and that is only accessible through flow.Flow is most easily accessed when we are constantly aware of what is going on in this moment. One of the best ways to accomplish this is to get silent and listen or observe what happens. Everything slows down. I'm not talking about concentration. I'm talking about the free flow of ideas from the universal field to us. How we get things done is throw out an intent or desire and then sit back and watch it happen, acting when things are thrown our way. Manifesting happens in the field of all possibilities not in 3-D. Our eyes cannot physically see the microscopic details, but they are there just the same. We are physically built on an energy grid that we can access at any time if we are consistent in our intent. We access it by being on purpose in this life. First we figure out what feels good to do without harming anyone else in the process and then we do it. It sounds easy and it is if we are not letting our ego run away with us. The ego is built up on pleasure. We all seek it out in the normal course of living. The idea is flow and if we are stuck on pleasure all the time, we cannot go with the flow. That which is constant never changes, or the one thing you can count on in this life is change so that is the constant. If we are in the flow or stream of consciousness that goes on in the field at all times, we notice the moment, savor it, and let it go for the next. If we hold onto things we get stuck, then we can't be in the flow. When we're not in flow, there is no magic in our lives because we have left our spirit, which lives in the flow. Our soul dances in the light all the time. The more we are in flow, the more we are on purpose in our lives. I equate flow with the field of all possibilities. When I am in flow, I am at peace. Simple Logic teaches us then that flow gives peace and whatever creates peace in our lives is when we are the happiest. When someone cannot distract you from your peace then you found the flow state of being. Staying in the flow state is being constantly aware of each moment's potential for happiness. Of course , since this is a neutral 3-D universe, every high has its respective low, and every light side has its dark side. When we fall out of the flow state, we can then experience the other side as the flow state is an energy state in the field and not in 3-D. If we are properly put together we notice our drop in energy levels and proceed to ascend back to the flow state. Normally when our ego is stuck on the pleasure of a certain 3-D object this is when we drop out of flow. When we are spontaneously acting or lost in the act, we don't have time to mess things up by dwelling on the seeming pleasure of this moment so we don't miss the next flow event to pass through 3-D for us to experience. Never leaving the flow state is one goal to be aware of, but achieving the peace that it requires to attain that state is our purpose for being here. This is where free will comes in the picture because how you achieve peace may be and probably is a lot different than what I would do to achieve it. Once you achieve it, you never want to leave it so here is the quandary we face. Each time we achieve it, the conditions are not the same so you have to grow constantly to be able to achieve constant peace or flow. Inherent in life's game is growth or the lack of it. Most people grow in spurts and fits and not evenly due to the fact that we love to sit back and lap in the pleasure of achieving a goal. When we stop growing we stop the flow. We grow by noticing and adapting to the changes that life throws our way. By growth I mean we actually act on the coincidences of our life as they happen to further us down the road or process toward what makes us peaceful. Why I say peace and not happiness or pleasure is that these are ego trips that one can take along the way, trying to rationalize the process. We deserve it because we're great will not get you in the flow, it will bring you out of flow because when we're bragging we're stuck in that last moment and haven't acknowledged that life has left us behind. In the stock market as in life, it's what have you done for me lately kind of existence. When we expect rewards, we hardly ever get them. We must detach from the outcome and let the universe handle the details. When we expect something in return for what we have just done, we are waiting for an action. While we are waiting , we are not in flow. Worse yet, we are stuck, hoping for an outcome. It an ego trip kind of thing. We have to teach ourselves that to be in flow or at peace, we have to go silent and act in accordance with our purpose. The outcome we should expect is peace which comes naturally for anyone in flow. People who get stuck for a long period of time usually get sick or financially ill in some way. They are out of the flow of life. Every time I have cleaned out a closet and thrown away some things I haven't used in a long time, I feel lighter and more carefree. The lighter you feel the better. The rocks of our lives are supposed to be dropped and this allows us to pick up new ones and repeat the process. Most gurus live very lightly with a minimum of excess baggage around them. The more you carry through life, the more you tied to a specific way of doing things or rigid in your thinking. Rigid is the antithesis of life. As soon as a tree becomes rigid . It blows over in the wind. Flexibility is the name of the game if you want to be ready for change. Flexibility implies no baggage to carry around so make sure you are psychologically clean. I know this implies work but nothing comes without effort in this world and that includes manifesting what you want out of life. Most of us in America can manifest a home or apartment to live in, at least 1 car to drive, and some creature comforts to make life comfortable. That is about as far or as hard as most of us want to work. This kind of achievement requires no soul searching, no real changes of any kind. It is our crowd's evolutionary level. If, however, you want more than just a comfortable life, you have to stretch yourself a bit. Growth implies work , but it does not have to be that way always. The work you do to achieve this could be as simple as thinking about the quality not the quantity of your life. Once you start this journey, you could perceive it as fun, meditating away in your favorite chair. Sooner or later, you will have to move, if only to eat. If you act in the same way according to the same thought patterns you have always had, you will get what more of what you have right now. While that may be pleasurable, you will have stopped the flow of the field into your life. Pretty soon boredom will set in and you may do something stupid and lose it all. If that happens, you have to pick your self up off the floor and start again to grow into the flow. If you haven't forgotten the way in your ego-like stupor all wrapped up in yourself and the pleasure of standing still in the light. If you stand still in the light, you get burned, take it from one who knows. Getting back into the flow can be a process, but it can be done, as I have done it several times. You have to do a lot of soul searching in the quiet mode. Somehow you have to find out what turns your soul on not just your ego. When you find it you'll usually be in flow again at least briefly. Don't lose the thought in your ego driven happiness to have found peace again. It will be different than it was before if you ever had it in the first place. Just take note of where you what you are doing and try to do more of it in the future. If you are quiet and have patience, peace will come to you. It is hardly ever in the way you thought it would be, but it will come and knock at your feet when you least expect it to. Act when it comes evaluating your feelings as you go. Will this action bring me more peace or not? You ego will begin to doubt immediately. Am I kidding myself or am I really at peace while doing this? Do not wonder if you can make any money at it or not. Most likely you won't think you can. Don't let those weak thoughts into your consciousness. Trust the peace you receive and go on. If you follow your bliss, you will be in congruence with your soul's purpose in this life and this is where flow is. Most likely you will feel light and in automatic mode when flow occurs, just go with it, riding it for as long as you can, for this is the manifesting state of awareness. It can be fleeting if you let your self think about it. You can observe that flow is happening, but if you want to shut it down, just analyze it and tear it apart. Even if you could tear it down and define each part of it, it still boils down to just knowing that you can do it and then getting in the flow. Flow comes from a different energy level that has no 3-D rules. Flow doesn't care who you are, what you have done, or when you want it. If you step in the flow, you can get anything you want back . It all depends on how much you want it. It often requires total focus and lots of perfect practice, but you can also be in flow going to the bathroom, baking a cake, being silent, playing your favorite game, or building your dreams. What you think about expands. If you dwell on your being a victim, guilty , doubtful, and/or worrying, then that is what will expand for you, in spite of how much you want something to happen in your life. If you are always saying I am not worthy, or worse, listening to your family, friends, and significant others tear your dreams down, then your feelings and thinking will not be pure. That is when you must get quietly focused on what you want to have happen and not get distracted by errant thoughts. I use meditation and that is what works for me. It may not work for you. You have to find your own special place to be quiet. I often listen to my heartbeat to get focused. If you are stuck anywhere in your life while attempting to manifest, it will show up as a distraction that will not go away and therefore any attempt to manifest what you want in this state will not happen. You have to get clear and clean with respect to your thoughts and feelings. If you succeed in finding your bliss and are lucky enough to practice it, then you know what flow is and know any 3-D description of it is useless. Knowing that full well, I shall attempt a 3-D example that is fairly close to what I envision to happen. I attract into my life what I think about or dwell on most of the time. I think that is a fair statement of verifiable fact ion our world. Although it might take a considerable amount of time, there is something magical about concentration of heart and mind on a goal. I believe it is all a matter of energy and connectedness. I am quite literally a magnet of small power, that is, I generate electromagnetic waves through my electromagnetic signature or "aura". When I step into the field of all possibilities or flow, I find that I have been connected all the time to it without realizing it. Anyway, I provide a focal point of operation within the field which what some people attempt to define the soul in 3-D terms is. It is through being connected that the power arises to manifest the thought. My small magnet is poled to others through my pure intent. It is like a drop of water in the ocean. When you take the drop of water out of the ocean, it is at the mercy of the elements, however, if that drop is joined to the ocean again, it is a part of an element of the earth and becomes very powerful indeed. My small magnet is now a large magnetic force capable of possibly producing the sub-atomic particle-waves that make up the meson and quark that then grow into an electron, proton, and or neutron. This not just any atomic particle however, it is a particle fused with an intent such as a rose in a rose garden. Let's bring it down to a real life example that is familiar. The Berlin Wall coming down or the fall of the Soviet Union. These events came about because enough people got behind the idea that it was possible to live without these hassle in our lives any longer. How many people did it take? I don't know. But the people who cared enough about it to make it happen had pure thoughts and that is why I believe it happened. That is, they knew they could make it happen. Its like a phase change from liquid to solid or gas. What determines when water changes form liquid to ice or moisture? That is, how much of the water has to change before it is officially ice or moisture. It has been determined through exhaustive analysis in the USSR that if you control or kill approximately 16-20 % of the people, the rest will fall in line. You have to keep controlling or killing these people to show you are serious, but it actually worked for a long time. In the 3-D world of the stock market, how difficult is it to sell a stock or an option on an exchange. First, let's say that you place your order to sell a 5000 share lot of stock, your order goes through a broker or an Internet brokerage system or checks and balances to determine if it is a good order (pure thought), then fairly soon it gets to a market maker or specialist who assembles your order into the market,now if the market is too low to sell at your price you must wait, the question is how do you get it up to where you want to sell,this is where flow comes into play, you must convince the market to rise in order to sell,you get silent and go into flow knowing that the stock market is your bliss and you can do it, no other extraneous thought enters your consciousness, there is only you, your intent, and the field of all possibilities, you are the magnet now that start s drawing people from around the world who want to buy your stock, but perhaps they weren't aware of the possibility right then,your intent alone lets their souls be aware of the possibility, so their souls jump into action by poling to your intent and plant a thought in the3-d world of wanting to buy your stock,That thought takes shape and depending on how pure your intent is, how many distracting thoughts come into your soul's energy pattern at that time, other people start calling their brokers or putting orders into their computers, it is just a matter of time now, and the market makers or specialists start marking up the price to contend with flow of buy orders. And Walla, you've done it, you've sold you stock. You have just manifested money in your account where there was only a thought before. It could be only a matter of minutes, or it could be years, or never. It could also be under some one else's control, but he or she just wanted to buy at the same time you wanted to sell. There are no coincidences in the 3-d world. What seems like chaos to you is not. Just because you don't have enough wisdom to make sense of it right now, doesn't alter the fact that a connection exists. The point is thoughts and feelings are powerful things when they are connected to it all. I've got news for you. We are all connected. It has been proven that when scientists' wants an experiment to go a certain way and he is alone dealing with very small particles, their thoughts can directly affect the outcome of their experiments. Now, take that fact and blow it up to the berlin wall or the USSR and you have many individuals all hoping , wishing, believing that they would be better off without these items in their way, and all it took was a few individuals who knew they were connected and with pure intent poled to all the others who were just wishing that they could have a life without those obstructions in their lives, and Walla, the obstacles are gone. The purer you thought and or feeling is, the faster you can make it happen, theoretically anyway. In reality, the field of all possibilities does not pay attention to time or space in the 3-D world. It just pays attention to energy flow. That energy flow in the form of spiritual energy patterns is always connected, just waiting for you to think or feel the right thought so the field can bring into being what your purpose is on this earth. That intent is just one thought when it is not connected, but when you finally wake up every once in a while to the fact that we are all connected to the field, you too can perform the so-called magic of manifestation.
Onward
Since , I must begin somewhere and now is as good as any other time, now is the time I choose.
My story begins early in my life, in fact before I even was conscious that I had a story to tell. Prior to coming here, I was given a choice of who I wanted to learn about 3-D from. I chose my parents or the lack thereof. So much for me being born with a silver spoon in my mouth because I chose good parents, but working class stiffs. Mother & Father never gave a thought to anything like I do. Another thought that has no place in my life and that was and still is blame. I , to this day cannot blame my parents for what I chose to do about their teaching me right and wrong. Right and wrong are different sides of the same coin. It all depends on your point of view. Really, it just a lot of people taking themselves way too seriously, and to think I used to be one of them.
While we're on the subject of useless human traits, let's leave envy at the door when we go in 3-D. I chose these conditions to learn what I had to learn in order to get on with my spiritual life as a being of light. I can also choose not to learn, then I get to repeat this whole thing in another lifetime or two. Wait a minute, I'm not even alive yet and I have just thrown out some major foibles in this 3-d life. Maybe my life is all about being responsible for my own thoughts and therefore, actions. Back up here, thought patterns or more properly called mind patterns, just how do they create action? I don't have time a or the inclination to write a book on that subject, so I will summarize the high and low points. As I understand it, it all starts with your mind pattern. Who, then, provides the original thought to get you going down your path. You, in your being of light form provides the hint of direction, be careful, it's subtle. You let reality be the heavy. If you don't take the hint, then reality knocks and hard, to wake you up before the cliff happens. It all happens in symbols, using allegorical methods. This is just to see if you're awake as you go through life, or in a rut that is oh so deep. If you can take a hint and use it to build a mind pattern on, then you get to grow. You've got to be alert because it's rarely where you are looking at the time it comes by. Why do these hints come so hard? Possibly, it's only us making it hard when it is simple to get the point, all we have to do is notice life as it happens.
Like it or not it is a Stimulus- Response world of opposite feelings. Just as our mind pattern makes our DNA, our feelings make us who we are in 3-D. Our feelings largely determine what we go after, giving our lives the meaning we seek. If we are on track, our soul is content to grow while we live in flow from moment to moment. If not, we get hints, as to our direction. These are not always subtle, but came be as 3-D life threatening as a car accident that ends our lives. The hint can be a gentle nudge like a computer suddenly turning off for no apparent reason. Both of these hints leave you wondering as to what is going on here, that is where the fun comes into it. Now. You have something to figure out in this lifetime, the quicker you get it, the more you grow in this lifetime. How you become quick is generally through silence. When you silence your mind and all the backtalk that goes on, you have time to notice what is going on in 3-D. That's right, paying the mortgage is not what it is about.
You start by noticing the connections between things you take for granted, like the sunrise and the clouds versus the mountains if you are lucky enough to have mountains, or the sea, if you are blessed with life on our coasts, or near a large body of water. There is something serene about a shoreline. You can see it forever. A baby or small child takes this point of view everyday and delights in what it can find to do with that day. Hardly a small child passes me by without a smile coming to my face because I know they are learning things constantly, throwing food just to see it splash. Yes, they are messy but they are going through an experimentation phase, having quite good time making messes. With every mess, comes another chapter of life ending as they hear no almost constantly through this phase. They hurt themselves and others during this phase too, just to see the effect, or through sheer inability to comprehend the consequences of their actions. I once put a headlock on a neighbor kid long enough for him to black out just as a test to see what would happen. Or, there was the time I threw my little brother off a cliff to see if he would bounce. Or the time when that same little brother was calmly whaling on my middle brother with a tinker toy can just to see what would happen. I ‘ll never forget my first knife and my first inclination was to cut myself to see the blood rush and then stop, as if learning the blood clotting mechanism first hand.
Somewhere along the time line you get normalized, or worse yet scared of what happens when you do things, so you stop noticing and get comfortable in your rut from birth to death. As for me, I just got scared about 8-9 years old when I would dream at night of things and then I would hear of them coming true. These were nightmares mostly, of train wrecks and the like. When I got scared, I stopped dreaming, consciously making an effort to shut down remembering my dreams, as if that would make them go away. I got scared of my abilities to make things happen. I decided to quit making things, good and bad, happen. Now, I have real trouble remembering any dream even if I want to. About this time, I stopped visualizing totally. Guess what, today I don't even have a faint clue as to how to visualize. I clearly shut out the world at an early age. Early decisions last a while, when not examined, as to their truth or validity.
Did I mention I was precocious, well I was. From six, I used to love to play doctor and take people's clothes off, just to see what they were like. Well, one day when I was eight, Kristie, the girl next door, and I were examining each other and we were caught by our mothers. We were both beat within an inch of lives. That was the single most transforming event in my life, as I never paid any attention to anyone again until I was about thirty or so. I was determined to look, but don't you dare touch because if you do , something bad will happen. Beatings for me, were the norm, as I was always into things that I wasn't supposed to touch, let alone be near. These, however, were another matter entirely, as I was just starting to explore. I decided then and there that people just weren't worth the effort to figure out. Another decision that I still live with to this day. I developed a thick skin that to this day cannot be penetrated. I find it very hard to get mad at people because they are not worth the effort. I almost jump out of my skin every time someone touches me, which I keep to a definite minimum. I find it difficult to touch anyone and will go to great lengths to justify not touching someone, except when I absolutely cannot get out of it. I am a solitary person, one who observes a lot and interacts very seldom, if at all. I took and still am taking the easy way out. I have missed a lot of my life, by shutting off my feelings. I have heard it all my life that I live in my mind. I am constantly making choices and decisions about the reasons for life and why it exists. For a person who does not interact with my fellow man or woman, I have become to astound myself with my insights into the human psyche.
posted by Mike Liesveld @ 1:25 PM
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